Old/New

A new life was growing inside me
Possibilities and excitement
As the old life fought for his last breaths
Patched, yellow cheek
His death weight, he joked, and just shoot me
Pleasure gone
I held his hand, his squared fingertips
Thin, spotted
Hands that supported me in the waves
Helped build frames
Listed pros and cons of colleges
Patted me
Hands that planted zinnias, daffodils

The time between inhales and exhales
Grew longer
And longer
We waited
Still nothing
Skin taut around his protruding teeth
Corpse-like, stiff
This cannot be happening.  Not yet.


But another breath was not taken
Enjoyments
Depression
Addiction
Avoidance
An end to keeping track of the drinks
Stories, gone
Machines' hum and death's smell start to fade

Skin taut around my protruding belly
Labor, birth
Unblemished
Soft, pink cheeks
Curled, plump hands
Unconditional love for my child
Warm and strong
Awe at life's persistence, stamina

Healthy memories come into focus
Silver Fox
Singing the "Donut Song" on his lap
A foot ride
"You Are My Sunshine" in monotone
Snorting laugh
He'd pick a good note and stick with it
Mr. Jim
Not to worry!  Clicking his heels high
You done good
Bye, daddy!

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Passages

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